[lucyjoy]

Well, when you meet him, if he runs up and wants to call you mom-run.

How old is this child? Taking wheels off trucks isn't the same as destroying toys-however, many of my attachment disordered kids destroyed all toys.

Temper tantrums if he is a toddler are fine, if not, you need more info. Often, when tantrum was listed in one of my kids reports, what they really meant was raging and believe me, there is a difference.

Aggression-again, if he's little, he may need more language or teaching. If he's school age, I'd be concerned. The term is broad. Does he argue and sometimes push, or does he threaten to stab them-both would simply be listed as aggression.

RAD/AD is often misdiagnosed as ADHD in foster kids. The hypervigilience that is part of a RAD/AD kids survival looks like hyperactivity. What you want to know is if the medication for ADHD stops these symptoms or not. If the meds settle him down, then the diagnosis is probably right, if not, might need to take another look to see if it is something else.

Another question to ask-if he is bonded to fmom, why isn't she adopting? (She may be foster only which is fine but you need to know the reason just in case it's something behavioral).

IF the child is TRUELY attached to foster mom, then he can still have attachment issues but not attachment disorder. Kids with issues only tend to have a good chance of healing and doing well in families.

Things to look out for is multiple moves, hospitalizations etc. Fmom can often be the best source of information IF you are able to talk to her.

Urinating in inappropriate places occurs for a variety of different reasons. How long do they consider a long time for it not being an issue?

I am not a fan of play therapy(though theraplay has value). I would want the child evaluated by a psychologist familiar with adoption and attachment if the state/agency would allow it. You'll get a clearer picture of what is going on.

In my opinion, any older child will have some attachment issues-they had life and losses before you. Many can be overcome with time. Kids with more serious issues will need trauma and attachment therapy.