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Ahhh, like the others here, we've been through this. Only, we've been through this TWICE....
In the end, one son was put in RTC at the age of almost 11yrs...and has lived in RTC...through state grants that WE wrote for in order to pay for his stays. He's over 18yrs old now, and all agree he'll be institutionalized in some degree for the rest of his life. (Suffers from severe RAD, and a host of other things too.)
For another, we DID reverse the adoption due to the danger he presented to the other younger children. It took $$ and a lot of months, and living in fear for several months, but it was done. In part, by the Grace of God, I believe. In another part, due to an excellent attorney.
My posts about our family and what happened are in this forum already. I'll take the liberty of pm-ing you about this attorney...as well as suggest an agency that does re-adoptions.
This IS a scarey time. The foster care systems are well-versed in lying to 'green' hopeful adoptive parents as you---and we were too. While we also kept telling our caseworker (at that time) about the behaviors the first one was doing/having.....each and every time, the caseworker would say something to make us feel guilty or some other type of fluff.
In the end, we acquired vital info (MANY pages) of info the state was supposed to give us prior to his adoption....which they left out. Had we only known........
At any rate, I'll send the pm. My best to you. We know exactly how you feel...and there IS life aftter this %&*@. Believe me. We've even gone on to adopt again......never older children again---believe me. But we've gone on to adopt infants again.
Sincerely,
Linny
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