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I'm so sorry about all of this that you're going through.
I think that doing things like this, over aim, via text, ect, are some of the most cowardly things a person can do. Leaving a relationship of over a year is something that needs to be done face to face. It's so much easier to get out of the tough situations in life by not having to look at the damage that you cause another person.
I have to agree with a lot of points you made, regardless of whether you need counseling, can't he be there for you while you go through it?
Maybe you should give him time, but I don't think that it's a bad idea to write a letter. You dont have to give it to him, it might make you feel better to write out everything you are thinking and feeling.
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