[Nicole28]

We started the conversation that led to this break up on the phone, but he hung up.

He has serious conversations via AIM because he hates confrontation. He knew how hysterical I would be. He gets off so easy, telling me online where he can't SEE how I am reacting, and then signing off when he wants to and leaving me staring at my laptop.

He texted me tonight, after we'd spoken briefly again on AIM [I did not initiate the conversation]. I had told him that I wouldn't reach out to him since he'd said "I need time." He texted "You need to ask your parents about getting insurance so that you can see someone and work through your issues. You cannot continue to live this way." These ISSUES - I assume that he is referring to a] my feelings about my adoption and b] the emotional issues that I have as a result of an abusive, 5 year relationship - are issues that do not prohibit me from living my life. When I needed to, I would talk to him about how I felt. On occasion, I felt sad or depressed but I bounced back. And those "issues" did not prevent me from being able to love him, or from being a wonderful girlfriend. They did not make me incapable of having an "adult relationship." How can someone turn on someone they love - someone who depends on them - all of a sudden?

I am trying to busy myself tonight...reading, watching some TV. All I want to do is sleep, but I don't know if I will be able to. I want to write him an email and say the things that I could not say in my own defense because I couldn't type fast enough last night. I don't know if I should do that...I did tell him that I'd leave him alone. But why don't I get to say what I want to say? I will have to think that over.