[blazingsaddle47]

Four years ago my wife and I adopted a sibling group of five children. Life was rich and people called my wife and I “saints”, a title we were much too modest to accept. Our lives had changed in an instant. My wife and I woke up one morning as proud parents of five little ones.
Starting out we had our struggles, mostly with the youngest boy. There was no honeymoon with this child. The gloves were off from day two and it’s been a ball of constant sorrow ever since. Following the kids’ placement with us my wife and I voiced concerns about our youngest son’s behaviors. The social workers involved encouraged us to “love” and “nurture” him and he’d come around. We were naïve and followed along, but all the while kept bringing our concerns to the SW attention. When the time came for finalization we discussed not finalizing the youngest boy because of the problems we’d had with him. We were told the state wouldn’t allow us to separate the siblings and it was all or none. Now how were we supposed to send the other kids away (we’d bonded with them and they to us)?
The other kids have done quite well throughout this ongoing ordeal despite the youngest son destroying their belongings, physically assaulting them, urinating all over the house (primarily his bedroom), telling anyone at school who’ll listen how he hates his siblings and his parents, flashing his genitals at the younger girls, trying (literally) to burn down the school, frequently (loudly) threatening to kill himself, and more recently, he’s been cutting on himself. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD, mood disorder, major depressive disorder, and atypical (whatever that is) RAD.
Today the youngest boy is in in-patient psych treatment and is on a regiment of medications that would sedate a horse. We’re faced with the idea of refusing to pick him up because my other children, my wife and I are afraid to bring him home. He needs constant supervision. My wife and I (the other kids too) are so stressed out by his presence that we’ve exceeded our breaking point.
Our home is not a group home and we’re not equipped to provide for this child’s needs. We’ve talked with attorneys trying to find someone to represent us. Only one was luke warm and nearly all talked down to my wife and I like were are horrible parents. We’re devastated. This was not what we signed up for when he brought these kids into our home. I feel like the system lied to us in effort to clear these kids off their caseload.
The other kids are doing very well in our home and we’ve seen amazing progress with them and their lives, so we know we’re making a difference. My wife and I need help. We’re afraid to go down this road, but we both feel we have to protect the other kids and allow the boy to go back to the system where the system can better provide for his needs. However, my wife is afraid CPS will try and take our other kids away (the kids are also afraid of this). One attorney told us this will not happen, but are there ever any guarantees?
It’s been helpful to read some of your posts and I don’t feel so alone. If anyone knows of any resources in the Dallas-Fort Worth area please let me know.