[DelMarie]

I've been working for the same employer for 20 years and same dept for over 10. It is a large dept (over 200 people) and many of the friendships I've developed were folks with me during some very dificult ups and downs of an over two year adoption journey. The Russian program shut down ONE DAY before we were to fly and pick up our daughter-we grieved as if we had just lost a child.

Some friends/associates I've worked with have "followed" our story and often ask about our daughter and remember how she looked and how scared and "shell shocked" she was when we first brought her home. I share photos quite often. Our most recent vacation was no exception. Everyone is suprised (of course as I am) at how FAST kids grow up.

Getting to the point-I've noticed that I have started to become irritated when people ask when I will have another child. It is an innocent enough question but one that still irritates me.

My husband and I are well into our 40's and it took over two years to adopt our daughter. We are VERY GREATFUL to have her in our family and realize that we are LUCKY to have completed our adoption at all-our region was very iffy at best when we completed our adoption in 2005. The program shut down one day before we were to fly to pick up our daughter.

I know that there is really not any way possible (financially) we'd ever afford to go back to Russia even though that would be my first choice in adding to our family. I would love for my daughter to be able to attend a good college, have a nice wedding, etc....down the road. My husband and I agree that it wouldn't be wise to extend ourselves another 35-40 thousand that we don't have. We struggle with my reduction to part time but both feel important about spending as much time with her as possible-she's already 4 and we can't believe its' been 3 years she's been with us.

We've looked into the foster system but both agree that it would not be wise to bring a foster and/or foster to adopt child who is older into the home. When I have longings about adding to our family I keep reminding myself that we are lucky to have her and should be happy with our family as it is-after all we've come a long way.

Sometimes I just want to scream when I hear that comment. Anymore, it just makes me cringe!!! Don't people realize that I can't just "get a child" -its' not so easy? Don't people realize how that comment makes me feel? I usually just put on a false smile and walk away as fast as possible. Thanks for letting me vent!!!