winter444
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"You will never have contact with your siblings as I cannot face that..." all emails became so cold so I just had to end it all, for my own health, I was honestly sick from it all.
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She does not want to or can not go there.. Not yet..
The process may have started.. but she does not want to be pushed.. IMO
She may go into the grief.. the feelings some day... I think this is your hope..
Give her time maybe..
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All I ever wanted was for her to care about me and to understand I wanted us to be able to write to each other in private, why did she go off the way she did? Can anyone explain this to me??
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To me its about the secret keeping and the abandonment of our emotions.. and the shutting down of feeling..
I bet she does not understand your pain does not see it... she is so deep within herself and her work at blocking all memories..
Or like Raven says.. her son is an influence..
If we do not have help when we find emotions that are long buried.. we just bury them again.. IMO
I needed my family.. and I remember one time on my bsons birthday I told my third born son about it being his half brothers birthday and I did not get a reaction other than why are you so sad.. he’s probably fine..
So I went off and grieved on my own..
But I wanted it.. I wanted to get out of that secrecy and those walls and that shutting down of feelings..
Some find it a comfortable place..
I am so sorry..
Jackie