[crick]

Nicole,

I agree with the others in that both of you are adjusting to the new grounds of your relationship. Going from mother/daughter caretaker relationship to one of mother/daughter friends is not always an easy transition, and I agree that it's harder when living together.

I know that my relationship with my mom changed greatly when I went off to college and then moved back home for a time. Then I moved back out into my own place and it was then where we found our "new footing" so to speak.

Whether you have any misplaced anger or not adding to the situation or not, it does sound like the adjustment for both of you is harder than you might have realized. She wants to remain close and yet not realize that her asking after you is making you feel "monitored" and creates that annoyance on your part. Your pulling away makes her try even harder and on it goes. lol!

I think you have some great ways to work on things to make the relationship better and geared towards the friends aspect. I'm sure letting go is hard for her and after being the mom taking care of her baby for so long, it's an adjustment for her too. Just tell her how you feel and hopefully instead of letters back and forth, you can both have a big heart to heart.