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Some states do not allow you to pay any birthmother expenses (like GA where we live) however that is dictated by the state in which your birthmother lives. From what I have heard most birthmothers match late in pregnancy (6 months or so) so whatever you pay would only be for a few months anyway.
We did pay some expenses for our first adoption. This included some money for rent and for medical copays. Although I can understand some peoples reservations to pay this, I viewed in this way - if it helps the birthmother take better care of herself and the baby then I am all for it. Sometimes I think requests for expenses can be outrageous though and I think you just have to agree through your agency or lawyer on what you feel OK with when you match. You definitely do not want to pay the birthmother directly for these things. They need to go through your attorney or agency and usually they go out in the form of giftcards (ie. food) or the rent, etc is paid directly.
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Snaps
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