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The way I see it (and I may be entirely wrong here), is that at age 24, you are going through a normal phase of independence. I know when I was in my early 20s (and even beyond!), I really didn't want much at all to do with my mom, as I was becoming my own person, becoming increasingly independent, wanting to do my own thing, hang out with friends, date, etc. If my mom would have been asking me all those questions, i.e. "how was your day?" "what did you do today?" "where were you?", I would have found it intrusive. I'm not saying you cannot ever be close or have a better relationship, but two adult women living in the same house, especially a mother/daughter, is bound to have some tension!
A good friend of mine who was out on her own for many years, had to move back home with her parents temporarily at one point. She was already in her 30s, had owned her own place, etc. She was very close with her mother. Extremely so. However, when she moved back home, even she admitted that her mom (and dad to a lesser extent) got under her skin. I think it's just pretty normal for adult children to go through this. You want your independence more, you are your own person, and don't need such intense closeness perhaps, as you did when you were younger.
I could definitely relate to needing your alone time and space when you are in the same house. Heck, I need this too and I love my husband! But honestly, he would drive me crazy (and I him) if we were always together or doing the same thing all the time.
Maybe try to do things outside of the house that you and your mom both enjoy. Some of the things you addressed in the letter are really nice ideas (spa treatment, for instance). And work towards getting your own place if you can. Sometimes separation and a bit of absence allows you to appreciate someone more and look forward to seeing them, rather than having them there all the time. And when you live with someone, all their annoying habits are magnified! I don't see anything wrong so much with you needing your space.
Last edited by JustPeachy : 05-17-2008 at 05:42 AM.
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