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You know those little neices in my sig line? I did not even get to meet them until they were almost 4 and 5. The reason was that Sis, whom I raised. I took care of her as a baby, then when she was only two my mom pulled me out of school to care for her and my other sibs full time. She told me that the two little ones were mine now. I left for a while when she was 4, came back into her life when she was six, and then mom moved her away from age 12-15, I spent that entire time trying to get coustody of her and finally did. Then I had her legally until she turned 18. She went into the Navy, she came home on leave pregnant. Her boyfriend had leave at the same time but did not want to meet us, even though he was going to his family in the same state. He told her not to call him because he wanted time with his old friends. He did not want her to meet his family. She tried to call him anyway, but his cell phone had been turned off cause he forgot to pay the bill. They had to put thier apartment and utilities and both cars in her name becuase his credit was shot. I told her these were red flags and to be careful and to be sure she got child support. She was so mad that she left and did not speak to me for several years. During that time she married him, got pregnant again and he left two weeks before the baby was born. (now she claims she threw him out, but she called shortly after and said he left cause he had a new girlfriend) OK so then she calls, but when she tells me she is planning to go move in with his parents becuase his dad says that as soon as he is out of the Navy (a few months after she got out) he would make him go back to her and the kids. I mention that I don't think that is the best plan, and so again I loose her for a few years.
She also did the party scene before getting pregnant and the sleeping around thing. Now she is doing OK, I mean we have our issues, and she is moving out of our house (but we are parting on good terms this time) but, she is not doing drugs or drinking or smoking. She is not partying. She has been keeping jobs. She spends her time off with her girls. She makes sure they are well cared for. She loves them very much and takes care of them. So she did come back and she did straighten out, she just had to be stupid for a while. Don't give up on the boys yet.
OH and you were right in what you told M about the girlfriend. I have a good friend whose 23 year old son is having trouble getting a job. He is on the sex offender registry. He can never do volunteer work with kids or get a job anywhere where are children. (he's actually having trouble getting any kind of job anywhere) What happened was right after he turned 19, he hooked up with a girl in his appartment complex. She told him she was 18. Her dad found out and had the kid arrested. Turns out she is 15. In court his mom brought in several other young men to whom she had lied about her age and some girls who had heard her bragging about lying. The girl even admitted herself on the stand that she had lied. The boy only got communittee service and no jail time, but he was convicted because he did sleep with a minor and he will be on that list for the rest of his life. It was a huge lesson for him, but the price was way too steep.
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