My adoption being closed, I haven't decided which one is better, closed or open. They both have good points and bad. My niece's adoption is open and they sometimes go through the same things that you are going through. I'm 46 and I never remember going through wishing that I lived with or had contact with my bmom. I always thought, as I got older, from time to time I would like to meet her, but that was all. My parents were mine and I didn't have the need to have her in my life at that time. Maybe it was because it wasn't in my face all the time. I didn't have a picture to constantly remind me of what wasn't in my life. I think that's where the confusion, for someone that young, comes in. They don't understand all of life's confusing decisions that adults need to make because of choice's they made. To them it's black or white. And as adults we know different. Knowing things as I do now (post reunion) I don't know that I could have handled understanding. I know all the emotional turmoil that I went through and can't imagine dealing with that as a child. And if she has her picture to look at all the time, that just messes my head up thinking about it. To me it would a constant messing with my head. I don't know, maybe I'm thinking about it to much. I would keep the lines of communication open all the time for her to be able to talk when she needs to. For what it's worth, that my thought.
