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I understand how painful it must be for his firstparents...but regardless of how it came to be, he is now your son and you shouldn't have to listen to things such as that.
I would certainly tell them that converstions like that are unacceptable and that in order for your OA to be a success, you all need to be on the same page for the sake of your child. I commend you on your composure and think it's great that you all are committed to maintaining an open adoption relationship, because it can't be easy for any of you (not the OA - the situation).
As for maintaining the OA, my oldest son's firstmom and her familly will most likely be moving to Hawaii because of her DH's military obligations...This will be very hard for our families, because we both have young children and it wont be so easy for us to take a 12 hour flight.
We will maintain our relationship via email, letters, pictures, calls, etc...I think I will buy her a web cam before she leaves so her and AJ can see each other that way...
If you plan visits, maybe you can meet in the middle sometimes. Good luck to you all!
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