What Our Homestudy Doesn’t Tell You
We have been married 27 years, we met each other on a blind date when I was 16 and Tim was 18. Even though we were young we knew that we would be together for the rest of our lives. We got married when I was 17 and he was 19 and are the best friends as well as husband and wife. We were always the cool aunt and uncle that the kids loved to stay with (they still do). We always pictured having a huge family, but that just wasn’t the hand that we were dealt. So we became foster parents in 2002 and thus our journey to build our family began
We have a 6 year old daughter that we adopted through DCS. Lyla is a survivor of “shaken baby syndrome” at the age of 4 months and her prognosis wasn’t very encouraging. The doctors told us to take her home feed and love her that that was all we could do for her. That her chance for any kind of normal life is zero, that she would be blind, never walk, talk and never grow up to be a productive adult. What her doctors told us made us MAD! How dare they just give up on this child, just push her to the side without giving her a fighting chance. That didn’t sit well at all with us. So we did tons of research, contacted every service that we could. We worked with her 24/7 and it blesses our hearts everyday to say that other than not being able to open and close her left hand willingly, she is a normal child. She doesn’t walk, She RUNS! She knows her colors, shapes, numbers, ABC’s; she knows her name and how to spell it. In some areas she’s advanced, but in some she’s a lil bit behind, but is getting therapy for those. We were committed to her before she was placed with us and we knew that we would be committed to her the rest of our lives, regardless of the outcome of her permanency plan. Lyla is a very loving child; she has no problems with adults or peers. She has no problem sharing anything. She will love having siblings to play with.
We have a son, Bremon age 5, that also is a survivor of Shaken Baby Syndrome at age 6 weeks old. Bremon was almost 4 years old when he came into our home. At that time all he could do was roll over. In just one short year he has made tremendous progress. He can sit up, pull up and can crawl. He feeds himself and can say a few words, and is learning new sounds everyday. He is such a happy and carefree little boy. He loves being with other kids and will truly love a little brother to play with.
We also have a baby daughter, that just turned two. Abbie was born with brain damage, that causes her to be developmentally delayed, as well as having endocrine and feeding problems. Abbie is fed by mouth and a Gtube. Her birth parents didn’t feel like they could handle the commitment to raise a special needs child. So they gave her up for adoption at birth. And I respect them for that. Her adoption should be final in May of this year.
Now with that being said, we can understand any reservations you may have about us adopting so close in time. But we can assure you that all of our caseworkers are 100% on board with us adopting so soon. They have also seen Braxton’s profile and encouraged us to inquire about him. And we can promise you this; he will always be/feel love and always get the attention he deserves medically and otherwise.
We will be committed to any child/children that we may be blessed with. Have you ever watched the eyes of a child light up when they catch their first fish? Or ride their bike unassisted for the first time? Those are the things we treasure.
We have a large extended family, and we are very family oriented. Birthdays are a BIG production in our family. Most holidays are huge, but birthdays celebrate the individual. We love family gatherings, fishing, camping, swimming, family vacations, family field trips (zoo, park, etc.), we love to do things outdoors, as well as indoors, (movies, play pool, piano, video & computer
games etc...) We love "almost" all animals (snakes make me cringe). We have a large home with over 4 achers of yard to play in. There’s nothing better than having a house full of children for popcorn and movie’s or sitting around the table for board or card games and snacks. We have always wanted a large family, I am 1 of 6 and Tim is 1 of 5. Both of our families will love and respect our child/children just as if they had been born into our family. We will treat any child with the utmost respect and love for where they came from, who they are and who they will be. We are committed to providing a loving and secure home, so that our children will grow up to be well rounded adults.
I am a “stay at home mom” so I have lots of time to dedicate to a special needs child or any child. And we know that every child isn’t the same, some may progress more than others, we accept each child for who they are. We give them the love, support and tools to help them try to overcome some of the many life challenges that lay before them. Some may be easy, some extremely difficult and some never obtainable. The most important things are Patience, Love, Consistency and someone Believing in and Fighting for them.
Resources That We Have Knowledge of and/or Used
We have worked closely with Tennessee Early Intervention Services on a weekly basis from 2002 through 2004 for occupational, physical and speech therapies. And have learned to use the skills on a daily basis. For Therapy to help, it has to be carried on after the therapists have left. We make it fun so that the child thinks it’s playing.
From 2004 to present we work with SportsPlusRehabCenter on a weekly basis for OT, PT, and Speech, that we carry on with at home. We also are presently working with Neuro Muscular Electro Stimulation (E-stem for short) to help re-train muscles. Its little electrodes placed in specific spots, sending out little tingles (doesn’t hurt) that causes muscles in her hand to open and close it. Our daughter’s brain totally
ignores her left hand. She can move her arm, but can’t willingly open and close her hand.
We are working with Neurologists both for a seizure disorder and Botox injections with serial casting. We know first hand what is needed if a child has a seizure. Our daughter hasn’t had one in over three years.
Botox is a live virus that when it’s injected into selected places in the arm, hand or leg, it relaxes the muscles, making it easier to stretch them. And when combined with serial casting (a very light cast to keep the arm or leg in a specific angle) its amazing results.
Serial casting schedule is on two weeks, off one. And so on for about three months.
We also have worked with Orthopaedics on the proper fitting of braces and splints. And know what to look for to make sure that it’s not causing any pain or break down of the skin.
We also work with a Retina specialist and Ophthalmologist .We have done eye muscle surgery, patching and glasses.
We also fought to get her accepted by TDH Children’s Special Services. A child usually has to be born with special needs to be accepted, but since she was so young (4 months) when the trauma happened, they approved her. We have never needed them for anything, but it’s always nice to know that if we do, they will be there.
We have/will try any new technique or suggestion to help our child overcome any obstacles. We have/will fight for our children to get them the services they need and deserve to have a close to normal as possible life.
We have worked with oral sensory issues and also have worked with
The StarrCenter, they provide vision therapies for children & adults.
They teach you techniques to stimulate your child's eyes as well as life skills for
the visually impaired. Like getting your child to learn to judge distances, walk with a cane and how to cope with everyday problems, age appropriate of course
that arises from lost vision.
We also work with a Gastroenterologist for feeding and weight issues.
And we also work with an Endocrinologist for endocrine problems.
We plan on adopting one more child. Another little boy . We would be honored if our Adoption journey ends with {childs name** J
I’m sorry this is so long, but sometimes home studies can be a lil bit impersonal, nor do they always tell of a persons experience or training.
|