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Originally Posted by goastros
They have promised not to lay any of their feelings about the adoption on my son but I don't want them aired to me either.
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I really think this is counterproductive to a solid relationship of any kind, not just open adoption. I'm not saying you need to be a doormat or a constantly berated sounding board. But what other relationship would you enter in which you didn't want to know what the other person was dealing with at any given time? My relinquished daughter's mother tells me what she is dealing with and I am honest with her regarding my emotional healing. We have boundaries, mostly involving respectful tone and wording and so on, but what good could it possibly do to avoid getting to know someone like that?