I am a birthmother. I have chosen adoption for 2 children under very different circumstances and stages in their lives. I am also a psychology major. I find these varying views all very interesting, and the way views can change as life events occur. My personal opinion about what makes a mother does allow for a birthmother to be considered a mother. Part of being a mother is providing nourishment, love and support, making positive choices to ensure the best possible outcome for your child, and being selfless (of course these are not all of the things that make a mother). For 9 months all pregnant woman are responsible for doing those things. I did all of those and did them without thought or concern about what I may be giving up or sacrificing. Giving birth is the next to final act that birthmothers get to experience. The last being the act of giving the adoptive parents the child. I was allowed to hold, feed, interact, and bond with the last child that I placed for adoption. The adoptive parents spent some time with me and my newborn daughter during this time and allowed me some personal time with that daughter. It is a very loving, giving, act to give up a child to adoption... but it is also a parenting decision. All that being said... what makes a "mother" does not necessarily come into consideration when deciding what title to give someone. I always believe that such a decision should be based on personal preference. I know lots of children being raised by their birthparents who call one or both of them by their names instead of either mom or dad. As long as you are comfortable... it is the right decision for you. I want to add as a final thought on my post that I am glad to see so much respect for one another's opinion on this thread.
