[Pumpkin]

Originally Posted by Nicole28

Thank you, Raven.

I often think about what you're saying: even if I just met my biological mother once, and then she provided medical history, other info. about bio-family, etc., I would still feel much comfort in knowing that she was doing well, had a family of her own, all of that.

Mommy24, I respectfully disagree with you. I think you were the first woman to love your son - but I just cannot make the correlation between giving birth + seeing the child "first" + relinquishment = "mom status." It doesn't add up for me, but that's just me. I do appreciate your comment about not signing away your right to love your son, or to miss him and wish good things for him. As an adoptee, that's comforting to know! I'd like to think that my biological mother feels those same things for me.

And, as much as I know it ruffles feathers...to me, at this point in my life, my biological mother was [is] simply a vessel. NOT to discount her bringing me into the world - for that, clearly, I am thankful. Now, if I were to be in contact with her, I'd imagine I may feel differently about her. But I can't even imagine reunion, so I have no idea how my feelings about her/for her would develop.

I find this thread fascinating. Being an adoptee and a birthmom, reunited on both sides, I've exprienced a myriad of feelings with regards to those relationships. I hope you all don't mind if I stray a little from the original question and look at this from another perspective. It just got me thinking.

I can understand feeling that your biological mother is nothing more than a vessel. Those are your feelings and they are of course valid. I'm wondering, from the reverse perspective, how would you feel if your biological mother felt that you were the equivalent...let's say in this case that you were nothing more than...I'll use the word "offspring" becasuse that's all I can think of. I'm pondering this from my own exprience reuniting with my bios. I honestly don't know how I would feel if that's what my biological mother thought of ME. I'm pretty certain that some part of my psyche would be hurt. I'm sure that I could dig much deeper into this, but I'll refrain from doing that here. Maybe another thread? I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on this. I find it fascinating from a social and psychological standpoint.

~Pumpkin