Quote:
|
Originally Posted by pharrell45
...if you feel that way. For your "birthmother's" sake it would be better to never meet you. She deserves better. I am a birthmother and have known many other birthmothers, and 99% of them were heartbroken to have to part with their newborns. Many have grieved for years over the loss.
|
I have to tell you that as a birthmother, I am a little offended at this statement you're making ostensibly on behalf of all bmoms. How do you know that it would be better for a bmom not to meet her now-grown child who only wants medical information and not a relationship? I'm sure that would be incredibly painful, but most bmoms I've known thru the years who have not yet reunited with their bchildren would jump at the chance to meet them, even if it was only a one-time event.
I reunited with my son over 18 years ago, and we have an ongoing relationship, so I have to admit I do not know how it would feel to be contacted solely for medical history and family background. But it seems to me that many birthmothers would want to at least know that their child is alive and well, even if the one who was adopted doesn't want a relationship. Knowing
anything about our children can be very healing in of itself.
We're treading dangerous waters when we start judging how reunion and/or contact might or might not affect another human being. Whose right is it to make that judgment call? I just think it's offensive to tell anybody that they shouldn't contact their birthmother if they don't want a relationship with her. How do you know that her birthmother wouldn't welcome a chance to give her bdaughter her medical history and family background?