Janey, I am sorry you are experiencing this terrible pain. You are definitely not alone here!
It is scary for sure when those strong emotions rise to the surface after being buried for so long. All it takes is one thing, like that clock, and it's as though a floodgate has opened. It's awfully hard when those feelings come rushing through so fast and furious. I'm glad you found the strength to post here. We truly do understand what you are going through.