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Originally Posted by Dmitry'smom
We tried making one on one time EVERY night with Dmitry. One night it would be me and the next his dad but it was still not enough. He expects any time we spend with him his sister can not be there or it does not count.
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I had posted on this topic before with advice and I hope it helps you. Our son took it very, very hard when Mia came home. I read a book called "Playful Parenting" and I was lucky enough to be part of a parenting forum where the author would visit and take questions. The chapter in his book about siblings also addressed this very thing.
Your statement above says it all. One night with you and one night with Dad is not enough at all. This author (psychologist also) explains that when a sibling is added to the mix, you need to fill child # 1's "cup" with love....from both parents, at the SAME time to ease the transition. Having his sister there does not count during this special time. Get a sitter or have a family member help, but take HIM out alone with BOTH of you. Do special things together. Uninterrupted time - not while his sister is napping - that doesn't count. But time for JUST him. Maybe even a weekend or an overnight if you can do it.
He explains that when your older child "acts out", his cup is "empty" and needs filling. You will feel and know when it is "full". I cannot begin to tell you how this helped me. I didn't realize that most of the time I spent with my son had "buts"...or "until" involved...."oh we can do that UNTIL Mia wakes up" doesn't cut it. He needed special time, just us.
Mia is now almost 3 and he is 6 and we still do lots of outings with just Evan - uninterrupted, take him to ball games - we use babysitters - we are blessed with wonderful ones. There are times we DON'T take Mia to his soccer practices. There are times we ONLY take him out to eat. (vice versa also by the way). It has really helped. Good luck - try not to get frustrated with him - his new sibling has rocked his world in a way (not a great phrase but you know what I mean!!) Fill his cup - it will get better!