[wlbooklady]

We're not quite that far apart, but it's a good 8-10 hour drive. I try to call monthly, but struggle with problems reaching my DS's birthmother. Called on Mother's Day and her phone had been disconnected and she has her cell phone set up to not receive calls, you can't even leave a message, which is, I assume, a financial issue. We usually only visit once a year for a long weekend; last year we tried a week but it was very stressful, particularly for my youngest, who kept wanting to go home (not his birth family) and my husband, who gets very stressed out when we visit, mostly over lack of control over what happens while we're there. I send packages for birthdays and holidays, cards and pictures, inlcuding for my son's bio brother, who lives with his mom. But it gets frustrating, as it's very one-sided. For example, DS's birthday is tomorrow; I think he's only ever gotten one birthday card from his first mother, and then because I reminded her and stressed it. I don't think he cares too much now, but there may come a day when he wonders why she doesn't even send a card. This really irks my husband, who feels everything is one-sided, and bugs me at times, too, but I think I have less of an expectation than he does. I look at it as we're doing this for our son and his birthmom, not ourselves. But it does get tiring; I feel like I end up doing everything.