[carlyincali]

I only have experience with a bio. child in this case. But I really think a lot depends on the child's personality.

My son was 8 when our daughter was born. He adored her. He actually begged me for a sibling for years, and he had finally got one. I remember him sending the neighbor kids home because they didn't want to include her in whatever they were playing.

On the other hand, our daughter (happens to be the one mentioned above,) was 8 when I had our son. She was very jealous of him and openly told me that. She said it was "his fault" for everything... She didn't like it because our other daughter, who is two years younger than her, adored the baby and doted on him constantly. She is very sweet but has always been on the selfish side (this is not something she learned--I know she was born this way.) I am constantly working on her to counteract this. I don't believe she holds any grudges now. But she did for a long time. She is now 11yo and is wonderful with the younger ones. She is very open with me and told me that Shay's coming (adopted,) wasn't nearly as bad as Sammy's (bio.)

Didn't mean to go on and on. Just wanted to make the point that all kids are different. Some are more self-centered than others. I have two extremes it seems. You just have to work harder with some.