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I totally feel your pain. I encourage you to read both books that Deborah Gray has written. We were referred to her by Dr. Bledsoe at the University of Washington. When we first called to see if she could see our then 3 year old we were told that she wasn't taking new clients, luckily for us she decided to take our daughter on and it was such a HUGE blessing for us. We have been seeing her for almost 2 years now and the change in our daughter has been remarkable. Every behavior you describe in your son we saw in our daughter. She had absolutely no impulse control, did anything for attention (good or bad) and seemed to care less if we got upset... no empathy. She also had no "real estate" so it was exhausting trying to give her a punishment because there was NOTHING she really cared about other then having MY total attention.
I encourage you to find a councilor in your area that has worked with children that were adopted out of Institutionalized care and know the deeper emotional/security issues that these kids sometimes are dealing with.
Good Luck
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 Adoring Mommy of two beautiful little girls adopted from Russia... Vladivostok6/2002 and Tomsk 12/2003!
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