No, no and no!
We had
no idea that Cameron was anything but healthy! I had never even heard of HLHS. We were most definitely not prepared for anything that happened to us. I was shocked to my very core when the cardiologist told us how sick Cameron was, shortly after he was born. I felt so many things, I felt shock, numbness and FEAR that I would lose this baby we had just met hours before. We were told very plainly that his survival was not likely. We were told that we could walk away from him; that people would understand if we did. Every part of me screamed NO! DH and I knew we would do whatever it took for Cameron to live.
I don't feel sorry for myself either (at least I try!), I
being my son's mom. I feel lucky to be the mom of such a strong, intuitive, stubborn little fighter!
Never once before he was born did I think I would EVER learn to feed with an NG tube, give shots in the stomach, live away from my DH and spend my days at appointments or in the hospital. But I've learned, I am strong enough. I can do these things. I have learned so much in having a son with a CHD. I have gained such an understanding and empathy with others who have sick children. I feel sad that children are born so sick. It isn't fair that my son has had such a rough start to life.
I definitely do not understand all of the complexities that go along with HLHS. It is a lot to comprehend! I understand more now that I did 6 months ago. I also feel like I only want to understand to a point. I don't need to know everything, I leave that up to his surgeon and God.
I am so thankful for where we are today and for having my son in my life.