Some more ideas (Dominic (bio ds) was 9.5 when his sister came home, almost 11 when his other sister came home).
1. I make sure to discipline the girls if they are being rude/mean etc. Sounds obvious, but it is just as easy to say: "They can't help it-- they are litte."
2. Dominic has a protective lock on his door so that the girls can't wreck his stuff.
3. I rarely ask him to babysit -- only if I really need to use the bathroom, shower, etc.
4. Sunday night is family movie night for the "big people" (after the girls go to bed).
5. The babies' bedtime is 7:30. Dominic's is 9:30. DH or I spend lots of time with Dominic during this time (even if it's just homework chit-chat).
6. We still do mother-son "date" days & nights (probably once every other month). We'll get ice-cream or dinner, or mini-golf etc.
7. We often take 2 cars places (yes, despite the ridiculous gas prices) so that one of us can stay at a party later with ds if the babies are fussing.
8. DH & DS ski on Sundays in the winter.
9. I'll try to ask him for "advice" -- like ideas for potty-training, or sippy cups, etc.
10. I tell him all of the time how much the girls adore him (they do).
It has gone well, and ds has gone through lots of adjustment (all of us have). Believe it or not, as I type this, my 11 y.o. is in the sandbox with the 2 & 1 year old. Voluntarily.
Hang in there. It's tough stuff. I found that I missed the alone time with ds (and of course dh) tons and tons... but we've found ways to make it great, just in a new way.
Peace,
Amy
