[akasohappy]

Hi Hannah-
I know one thing I had to stop doing was saying...
"We can't do this because of Sissy (ex. go to the movies, or "I don't feel like having Luke over to spend the night because you guys might wake Sissy".
When Kate first came home there was just so much adjustment for all of us. One day he asked to do something and before I could answer he said "I know we can't go there because of Kate" and then he stormed off.
I knew then I had to change my tune.
I was used to taking off with Jay for the day and doing whatever we wanted. We would do things on a whim. It was nothing for us to go shopping, the park, lunch, movie all in one day. These crazy 8 hour marathon days. Poor Kate she was so sad when she came home and didn't sleep that well and it was hard for awhile to do the normal stuff and I realized that I had unconciously really changed our social life.
I also started making a huge deal about Jay when he was little.
If Kate did something cute we would celebrate her accomplishment and then I would tell Jay about the first time he did the same thing. Or tell him a funny story about himself when he was a toddler.
Or show him a picture of himself when he was little.
If someone tells us Kate is cute - I toldl him about all of the people who told us he was cute.
He actually told me he was a little jealous of the cute thing - I couldn't believe it!
I then started answering compliments for Kate with "yes, the Lord has blessed me with 2 beautiful children" and many times the conversation would then turn to Jay and what a wonderful big brother he was going to be, etc.
Jay was and IS a total mama's boy and it just took a little reminding him that he was my number one guy and even though we love Kate and she is little and cute we still love him just the same.
He made the comment one time that even though I TOLD him we did all of the same things with him he said he couldn't remember so it wasn't the same so
I did goofy stuff like letting him drink out of a bottle or sippy cup.
Rocking him in the chair. If I set her up with a pillow/blanket/stuffed animal I would do the same for him. Dmitry probably wouldn't go for this since he is a little older - Jay was only 7 when Kate came home.
I know this sounds kind of weird, but I also would refer to Kate as his baby sometimes. I swear it helped him bond with her and accept that she had needs. I don't even know how that started.
Time will help (she hasn't been home that long).
If you want to get the kids together let me know.
Jay and Dmitry could talk about being "dethroned"!
ha ha - just teasing!
Hopefully there will be a new LFC event soon.

Kate also started wanting to be with Jay as she got older and could play more and even started to strongly vocalize it when she started talking and that also helped strengthen their bond.