[dac_cincy]

You are not a horrible person- you are an overwhelmed parent.

Your daughter has been home a year- a huge learning curve for you all, so many changes, challenges, etc. You have gone through so much.
You siad your daughter is deaf- is there a singal that you use to indicate to her that she is too loud for the rest of you? Something that is quick and easy.
Disobidence I can not help you with, I have a toddler and struggle with that issue myself. but consistency is the key. I would also ask you to look beyound her physical age and see her in "family age" - 1 year old- still learning the process, still learning how to act in a family- it is a tough, tough place to be, but you will make it through.

And finally, do you and your wife get out of the house, just the 2 of you- do you have that to look forward too? Just an 1 or 2 can make the difference- time away from the stress, time with each other, time to just be together.
It helped me immesely just to get out of the house (which was refuge). now I have one time when babysitter comes in and I go to the bookstore, go have dessert somewhere, or just go shopping. It helps.
I will say you are a great dad- you are asking for help and that says so much about the person you are and the person you are trying to be. Things will get better, just is sometimes seems that as parents we take 1 step forward to 3-4 steps backward as our children adjust to being part of our family.

Love and hugs to you,
Deb