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Sending you a (((HUG))) -- U are not a horrible person. Your feelings are honest and true and you are seeking help / advice.
My brother is multi handicapped and "deafness" is one of the handicaps. I believe my father felt much like you and it was his biological son. I am an AP so I also understand some of the other emotions during the "transition." Given the special needs / adoption transition and all the stresses you and your wife are dealing with it sounds like you are doing INCREDIBLY well!
Can you find the smallest brick to start building that safe haven @ home again? Watch your ADD ( adopted daughter ) when she sleeps! when she is quiet... Can you feel love? peace? Then add a new brick everyday in some way to rebuild your home and family back to the safe haven. And please find time to refocus on your bio child -- maybe a "date w/ Dad" night out once a week? Your bio child has to be experiencing ALOT too.
If you believe God called you to this, he will also help guide you. I am praying for your strength !!!
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