I didn't expect to be acknowleged on Mother's Day by my DD's a mom, tho since I did send her a card,(purposely on Sat, in case she was sensitive about getting it on Sun) I would have liked her just to thank me for thinking of her. But I didn't do it looking for some reaction, I did it because she is an amazing mom and she deserves the recognition. I fully expected her not to reciprocate.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by EZ2Luv
The facts are YOU are a Mother, it is YOUR day.
Yes she gave birth to your son but she is NOT parenting him so IMO all bets are off the day she signed him over. Open adoption or not.
|
However, my myspace said that I was melancholy yesterday and the above is an example of why. I'm sorry, but I AM a mom. I might not have chosen to keep my legal rights to parent my daughter, but that does not make the fact that I am a mom go away. It did not end the day I signed TPR. And while I didn't expect DD's a-mom to acknowledge my motherhood, very few did. Not my friends who know about DD, not Hallmark, not TV or radio or society. The people that did acknowledge me were my friends here in the triad who "get it". Not everyone does, to know that we are moms, but without the physical custody of a child somehow it doesn't count. I am in full agreeance with the fact that this is a Hallmark holiday, but when Hallmark makes such a big deal over it that it permeates every aspect of media and social culture, but they can't even create a card to honor a birthmother, that to me says it all. And though its 16 years later for me it hurts, let me tell you.
Stormster: correct me if I'm wrong, it's your DS's first mothers day after having E? It's normal for her to feel sad, she might not even know exactly why she felt sad. Myspace is not always the perfect indicator of what someone's mood is (sometimes I don't change mine for days, LOL) but the fact that you recognize that she could have been sad over the day and sent quick thoughts was very thoughtful of you. Even if she wasn't sad over adoption, I'm sure it made her feel better to hear from you. I agree with the others that it's not your responsibility to heal her pain, and that is why I personally keep my pain to myself (and throw it all your way, LOL!) Maybe she wanted you to take notice in an indirect way, I don't know. She didn't go about it the right way.
Trust me, little things make a BIG difference. You did good, no need to feel guilty
Hopefully, she'll find a way to deal with her emotions more constructively. You should not change how you celebrate to appease anyone. You can still send a little "thinking of you" and continue to celebrate your motherhood with your family. They don't have to be mutually exclusive, KWIM?