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Hi,
We aren't in your situation - our adopted son is our first and likely to be our only. In terms of the race issues, and your other questions about heritage retention, you might want to join a local support group of waiting families or just a play group for families formed through adoption. When we were in process, our agency offered us this opportunity and I know our area has various play groups for blended families; plus they also organize heritage camps and heritage activities. One thing we did find useful was taking the 1 day seminar one of the adoptive families groups in our city offers - they bring together a lot of adoptees and adoptive families to address the kind of questions you are wondering about. I would ask your agency about such groups. Finally, if there are no such activities in your area, you might join an internet group of adoptive families. I get the impression from recent postings on this particular forum that many people posting are still in process and so might not have answers yet to your questions, however, I know for sure that there are forums out there where there is more activity and more participation among people who would have answers.
Good luck,
MM
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