[koalove]

i had a similar situation as yours...i decided to place my dd and birthfather came out of nowhere and said HE was going to parent, which was a total joke. i would never leave him alone with my child....anyways, i love my open adoption and believe that it is a good choice for moms who just arent in the place to parenting. only you know wheather or not you are there. if you dont want the grandmother to raise the kid, i dont think you have to let her just because she is family. she would have to go through all the typical adoption proceedures and then you would have to choose her etc etc. its expensive and takes a while so it wouldnt even happen in time. in my state (oregon) you sign a paper saying birthfather did not live with you., support you, buy you things etc during your pregnancy and then he is not considered th father, unless you are married. i suggest finding a really good open adoption agency in your area and go in there and ask them the laws in your state regarding birthfathers. good luck mama~~hugs!