As an amom who's been through this with my son...
First of all, it's a testament to your love that you are even reaching out to find out if there's a way you can help them. That's cool. But let me say that you can't make it your responsibility and your burden to fix it, anymore than you could "fix" how each new phase and transition in parenting that involves letting go of your child a little more, is painful and hard. This is a huge transition, and transitions take time to get through, to heal from, and to adjust to.
One of the main things that caught me in your post was that it's been only 2 weeks and you are still living at home. So...it's very early, and they are watching it all unfold.
Being the parent of an adoptee in early reunion can be a very scary place to be, because there are deep fears and many unknowns- they still don't know how this is going to ultimately change you or your relationship with them and they may fear not just losing you, but losing how things have been, and may be grieving the loss of being your only family and your only parents (not in existence, but in your daily life). That takes a while to work through. It's their work to do, not yours, but you can still love them through it and recognize and have compassion for how your reunion impacts them without thinking that means it's wrong for you to be in reunion or wrong for them to be struggling with it.
Also...I want to clarify that being supportive of reunion, doesn't make it easy or painless. Even as a parent who supports and enables my son's reunion, there is still confusion, fear and pain. It is still a difficult and complicated thing to navigate. I get frustrated at the perception that if an aparent supports reunion then it will just be a big happy party. There is an element of pain and confusion for everyone in a reunion, and aparents are no exception to that.
You can't make the difficulty of this transition go away for them. But if you want a few tips or advice for helping them muddle through this, not as someone whose burden and responsibility it is, but as someone who loves them and cares how they feel, I can suggest some things. You can still care how they feel and want to show that, without letting their feelings define your life or direct your actions.
So if you want to do that: hug them a lot, speak all those words of love and appreciation that we so often think without verbalizing, give them some dedicated time, maintain or revive some family traditions or favorite activities that will give them assurance and comfort, use Mother's and Father's Day to tell your parents everything they've meant to you and will always mean to you, and don't be afraid to tell them that as your parents you need their help and support for this because you count on them to give you that as they always have.
You can do those things without making their feelings your responsibility. You can just allow them their feelings and love them through it as you want to be allowed your feelings and loved through it.
Some things can't be fixed in a day. Over time, they will be assured of their place in your life and your unchanging love for them, even while you live your own life and build a lasting relationship with your birth family.
Best wishes. Feel free to pm me if you want.
and Congratulations.
