[paigeturner]

DEAR ABBY: Our 16-year-old daughter, "Nola," is pregnant. My husband and I are, to say the least, very disappointed in her. We do not believe in abortion, so we're going to have Nola home-schooled until the baby is born, and then it will be given up for adoption.

What I need is advice on how to deal with this with our 10-year-old daughter. There is no way the pregnancy can be hidden from her, especially since the girls share a room. Our youngest daughter knows the basic facts of life, but does not fully understand that girls who are not married sometimes get pregnant and have babies.

I obviously do not want the same thing to happen to her, so I want her to understand that this is very wrong, but want to do so without demonizing her sister, whom she loves and looks up to. -- WORRIED OUT WEST

DEAR WORRIED: Your younger daughter will learn a great deal as Nola's pregnancy progresses. She will see your disappointment, hear your disapproval of sex outside of marriage -- not to mention how irresponsible Nola and the father of the baby were for not using birth control -- and witness firsthand the pain Nola experiences at placing her child with another family. And if that's not a sobering object lesson, nothing will be.

So worry less, and spend more time letting both of your daughters know you love them unconditionally.

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I know we don't get enough information from a short advice column, but I'm just feeling coercion, coercion, coercion. This seems like shades of decades past with the hiding of the pregnancy. And, I suppose Abby answered the mother’s question…but she didn’t address the important parts of making sure that adoption is what her daughter wants.

What do you all think?