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winter,
I am sorry you are going though this. I think the couseling advice is right on target. You don't desrve to be where you are. You don't desrve to be the symbol of your bmothers pain, but alas we can be. It hurts to know that we exist and our mere existence is enough to bring shame and pain the the person that made us. As much as we can understand what they went trough we are still the "cause" of it all. The thought that I could cause someone to be too hurt to talk to me..just because I live and breath is horrible.
But the reality of the situation is that we exist, we desreve to exist, we deserve to be happy about it. Any other way is taken on a deep rooted shame that meant we should't be here, should't be able to know our own birth story, situation, history ect. We still desreve that. If in fact we get that and the birth mother is unable to deal with the emotions then for your own sake you need to back off to regroup.
Once you get the strenght to remove yourself from her shame can you get to placeto try again, if she allows. It may happen , it may never happen!
Same thing with your bfather...if he makes it about himself and everyone else...you need the strength to realize that they are being self centered. again remove yourself from that situation...you deserve to be happy and if they are not able to help then remove yourself.
I kink of agrree that now may not have been the best time. But...hey maybe it will go well!
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