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Thank you everyone.
This may sound mean but I honestly believe my birth mom was happy when I told her it was a mistake to find her and I'm ending it. I bet she was so relieved I was going away, that's just the way I feel about it. I guess deep inside of me that does make me really angry, I wanted her to care that I was hurting but nothing was said, it was all about her and her feelings, even went so far as to tell me I was not considering her at all, WHAT!!!! That's all I was doing. The whole time we were in contact it was supposed to be happy dappy all the time and I couldn't go on like that without some answers.
I doubt I will ever contact her again and I bet any money she just doesn't care to contact me.
I know I need to talk to someone about this, but I am so fed up of crying and I know the minute I sit in the therapists chair, I'll break down.
I feel my bmom just doesn't care that much about me, I can ruin her life as she said and keeping me the dirty secret is her goal, doesn't care about how it makes me feel. I am angry I guess!!! hopefully over time it will get better.
I'm not as wound up after writing the contact letter to my birth father though, sure I'm afraid he'll say get lost but what can you do.
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