[angelkisses0102]

My email, FWIW...

To Whom It May Concern:

I am certain at this point you will have received a rather large influx of emails complaining about the category title Non Mom Mom in America’s Favorite Mom Contest and while I am highly offended (which is not typical for me) I am more hurt for all the children of us supposed not real moms.

I have two real children who just happen to be adopted. What does the title of this category tell them? It tells my 4 year old that he be shouldn’t be excited about the gift he lovingly made in Pre-K for me because I am not his ‘real’ mom…I am just his non-mom mom. The gift he is so excited about that he is about to pop…the gift that he hid last night and giggled with his Daddy (non Dad Dad) about and first thing this morning he ran to the hiding spot to ensure that it was still there? He shouldn’t be excited because I am simply his non mom mom. This child who was adopted from a Russian orphanage at age 8 months old, a scared, sick, confused and very angry baby that struggled for 30 very long months to attach to me. This child who took so long to believe that I too would not leave him …he is the child (non child child) of a non mom mom? This child who knows he is adopted and has another mom…just as real as I am…living in Russia. We are both his real moms…one carried him for 9 months and tried her best to care for him his first month of life and one who has had that responsibility from the day after he turned 8 months old. This child who I have been to hell and back for is really just my non child child? What does this say to him?

And my daughter, also adopted from Russia at the brink of death…she is also now my non child child? My six year old daughter who has been with me for almost 6 years through the ups and downs and daily struggles…she is also my non child child? How do I tell her that I am not her ‘Mom’ but her non-non mom? This child who now understands what it means to be adopted…who at times struggles with the why’s of adoption…that she should really consider me her non mom mom? The child I held in my arms as she sobbed for all she lost the day she ‘got’ that she was adopted and all it meant and had just one question for me…”why didn’t she keep me?” I am to tell her she shouldn’t be taking comfort from me because I am just her non mom mom? This child who is so happy and keeps reminding me that not only is this Sunday Mother’s Day but the whole weekend will be ‘Mom’s’ weekend. Should I tell her calm it down because <shhhh> I am just her non mom mom.

As much as this category title sickens me…what does it say to all the adopted children (who grow up to be adult adoptees, btw, they should lose the title adopted children when they are no longer children.)

I have two very real children who happen to have two very real moms…the one who gave them life and the one who is living life with them. Please do not discount our role with such an offensive title…for all of the little adoptees and the adult adoptees out there who consider us non moms their moms.