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Im not and older parent but I was 19 not too long ago. I agree with what everyone else has said. 19 is such a hard age especially when in college. You expected to be resposible like an adult but still have immature emotions, and things get confusing when you try to approch an adult situation without the life experiance to handle it. And what makes it worse, is at 19 you THINK you ARE completly mature. ( I know I thought I was) I agree that from 19-21 there is a HUGE change. At 19 I couldnt even feed myself let alone deal with adult decisions or emotions, but by 21 I was married and starting up my own business! Looking back at 19 when I was 21 I realize how young I was. Looking back at 21 now I realize how young I was at 21! lol and When I reach 30 I will look back at myself now and laugh too. What probably also makes it hard is that at 19 you still probably have a more parent child relatioinship, insted of an adult child/ parent relationship. My relationship with my parents has change 100% in the past 5 years and at 19 it was frustrating for everyone involved to say the least.
I honestly belive that given some time things will get better. It may not be untill after the children arrive, that she realizes she doesnt need "mommie" all to herself ( or to the 3) and she will realize and aprecciate you for you and who are are as a person ( not just a title) and everything you still have to offer both her and the new children. ie: life advice (for her) vs. cutting crust off a sandwhich (kids) It was probably around 20-21 that I realize my mom was a PERSON! and not just "MY MOM"
So like you said it will probably just take some time but Im sure things will transition smoothly.
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