[votemom]

karen,

i think your daughter is at the age where she should not factor in heavily in your decision.

if she is attending school away from home and plans to continue to do that, you should proceed with your plans with your husband.

it is a PARENTAL decision and covenant to adopt a child.

that being said, things will go much better for you if you have the support of all members of the family.

my college daughter matured a LOT between the ages of 19 and 21. we brought our toddler girls home when she was 20 1/2. she was supportive but nervous. it had been a long time since we had little ones in the house and i don't think she could really imagine what life would be like.

she made the choice to transfer home for their first year home and it has been an amazing year for all of us. she is completely in love with her sisters and is a wonderful support to me. she will be transferring out of state again this summer and is very sad to be leaving.

since she is your youngest, it's possible she has been spoiled for so long that her maturing process will just be a little delayed.

you need to do what is right for you and your husband.

i'm curious - do you have the support of the other two kids?

i wish you joy in the journey. it sounds like it hasn't been easy so far with all the waiting and the family stress. i'm sorry it's been so hard.

my husband is almost 50 and i am 46. our new daughters keep us very tired out, but they are a complete JOY. i'm so glad we made the choice we did.