DH & I took off from work for a nice relaxing Christmas Vacation in NJ with Family, the year 2003. A 13 hr drive to visit Family gave us some ‘winding down’ to some ‘down time’ from finishing things at our places of work before the end of the year, as well as all the Mount Everest of Adoption paperwork we'd completed. Some having to be re-done because the Notary Stamp was not imprinted to State Standard.
We had been ‘waiting’ awhile, 10 yrs to be exact. Four yrs of Fertility treatments all unsuccessful, a Domestic Adoption resulting in us being scammed out of money, personal information and loss of trust in agencies, lawyers and social workers. Ten yrs later we decided on I.A., after a co-worker had periodically mentioned her adoption process. We had done the research, lots of it, asked loads of questions, signed with an agency after carefully scrutinizing the process in August 2003 and finished our Paperwork Pregnancy by December 2003 and were officially waiting.
The hours felt like weeks, the days felt like months and I felt that Russia may run out of Children available for Adoption and we would never be called. It never occurred to me to contact our agency with where to contact us information in the event of last minute paperwork needed.
Christmas Eve morning, I was in the bathroom finishing getting ready for the day and never heard the phone ring nor the following conversation (s). My MIL was in the office, answered the phone and cried out for both of us, "your agency is on the phone". DH took the call, yes
‘the call’ and the information of our referral. He inquired as to ‘how’ they found us. The contact at the agency stated that we had listed his parents as Emergency Contact. (DH’s family has relatives in Germany. If we had to leave Russia but stay close by we would go to Germany and wait). The conversation returned to the referral at which he looked at his Parents, who are now both in the kitchen, and says "Twins?" He hung up the phone and it rang again, but this time was his sister. (I'm now headed downstairs, still not aware of what has happened in the last 10 minutes) and I hear DH say "hello" and then crying. As I turn the corner into the kitchen, DH, MIL & FIL are in tears, crying hysterically and DH is holding the phone, tears streaming down his face and says "SIL wants to talk with you." Immediately I think something has happened to her Husband and no one in the room can talk because they are so very upset. FIL is laying over the island in the kitchen sobbing, MIL is crying so hard and loud, she grabs a chair and DH helps her sit down. DH turns towards me and is red-faced still crying. I'm now tearing up, thinking the worst. I get on the phone and SIL says "Congratulations"! Okay, I'm confused, have no idea what she is congratulating me about as I was thinking the worse has happened. My emotions were confused as my taste buds would be if I’m ready for Root Beer and its an Iced Coffee. She proceeds to tell me that she had called and apparently our Agency had just called and DH had just gotten off the phone with them and the great news of Twins. We received the referral information on Dec 26, while still in NJ. By February we were on a flight to Moscow. A few days later we were on an overnight flight to Siberia. We met the Twins the same day we arrived. We were pinching ourselves and looking at the Boys and each other and asking “is this real”? We were both crying, we couldn’t believe we were actually there and holding them. They were so small, quiet, observant, loveable and we held them close and tight, not wanting to let go of the dream. Many visits we rubbed their backs and they fell asleep in our arms or on the floor while playing. Playtimes were fun and so were the feedings. We had fallen for them…..then the next day was court.
We were told about 6pm the night before to wait for a phone call about 8pm later that evening. We got the call and it was now wait until morning and sometime between 6a - 8a we will call you. It was a sleepless night for all of us. The next morning, can you guess where I was when the call came in? Again in the bathroom, getting ready. It was a good nervous tension breaker for the morning. We were a nervous wreck and had been through so much. Out of pocket infertility treatments, ripped off by a local domestic adoption agency, mountains of paperwork, emotional and physical stress, not to mention, thousands of miles away from home….in Siberia in the dead of Winter. We had fallen for the Twins and didn’t want our hearts ripped open again, but it would be up to the Judge. We only told Family and a few friends about our plans that we hoped to Adopt. We didn’t want to have to answer to everyone, if it wasn't to be. We'd already had to answer / explain "not pg this month.....again (via the infertility treatments)." Then the added blow of a scammed domestic adoption. In less than an hour later, she granted approval and signed the documents. We were pinching ourselves. Was this for real or dream? No, it was real!
It took 10 yrs to complete our family and never in our wildest dreams or expectations did we think we would ever get the call, let alone on Christmas Eve, for siblings - especially Twins who look in every bit like us. DS-G and DH share the same looking birthmark. DS-L and I share the same looking birthmark. The paperwork process is long, tedious and the waiting isn’t much better. But I hope our 10 yrs of waiting gives those in the beginning process or officially waiting that it does work. We hit many pot-holes along the way, but perseverance, praying and putting it all in God’s hands gave us 2 handsome Sons, that we are so in love with and are so very proud of.
At the time we were going through all we did, we had loads of questions why and no answers. Now I look back on that time and have had an Aha! Moment. NOW, some of it makes sense. I understand for us to go through the infertility helped other Women out who were trying to conceive and having problems. I was able to tell them about the Thyroid Gland; the Bodys' regulator. Keeps everything humming or it should. If it isn't working, infertility is one of the symptoms, go get yours checked. In other conversations, sharing information about Adoption and our long pot-hole filled route to complete our Family with Children.
Hard to believe that was 4 yrs ago and they were 8 months old. This time 4 yrs ago, we were filling out yet more paperwork to re-adopt and then for Passports and SSN. (So even when you are home, you still have more paperwork to do) Now we are making plans for their 5th Birthday Celebration of Life!
This was God's plan.... in his time and hands.
So today, I give you hope and dreams for a future with Children to complete your Family. For one day, you can write your own story here or talk with others and pass along some hope to someone else who needs it.
Have a Great Mother's Day Weekend
