[sbaglio]

Linny, I hear what you're saying. I have a sister and a mother and an aunt and countless other relatives who went through this hair thing their whole lives. To relax or not to relax...I recall that my sister had her hair relaxed only when she was a teenager. My mum did everything she could before that time to soften it up - frequent brushing, braids, extensions, afro puffs, you name it.

The thought of using those chemicals on a child's scalp just makes me uncomfortable. Believe me, I know about the pressure to do so. But the problems inherent are many - possible burns, hair loss, receding hairlines (tension alopecia, though this can happen with tight braiding as well), the constant upkeep needed (moisturizer, curl activator, sheen etc), and the obvious expense...The touch ups also have to be done often. My sister ended up chopping the straightened hair off and starting over with her natural hair. She has locks now, and swears that she will never relax her hair again - it's been over a decade.

Have you considered a texturizer? Not that there's much difference with a relaxer, but it may be more gentle (experienced women, please jump in here!). IMO, relaxing leads to more problems than it's worth, but I'm not a woman, so I humbly await others' suggestions...