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do you think its because of the way you are treated by your childrens amoms, or is it a natural response that comes from the situation (which I TOTALLY understand).
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When I think of my situation (prebirth) I tend to look at my personality and the PAmom's. I am a follower, shes more of leader. I think that's why I never voiced my thoughts. I took her lead and just agreed.
I wonder if a firstmom feels "powerless" after placement? I felt that way after my son's birth at the hospital. I felt I lost ALL power to him. Like my rights to him were gone even though I hdn't signed TPR - I did tell the PAPs they had a son.
My big thing was the fear of rejection. I had this sense of keeping the PAPs happy WAY BEFORE keeping myself happy.
Though I'm not in an OA and decided to parent, I can see where firstmoms come from. I can see where Amoms come from too. It's got to be hard to open up to each other for fear of "messing things up". A good relationship will take work. Respect I think is key to all players.
Don't know if I answered your question very well. I'm sure others will do better. This was just my thoughts.