Lady77: I believe I understand your intentions in starting this thread as very positive. I too had a great adoptive experience. I am grateful that my bioparents assumed personal responsibility and had the wisdom to make the decision that they did for me. I have recently been exchanging letters with my bioDad and he has expressed that in learning that I was indeed loved by my aparents he can finally feel relieved that I was, and he no longer needs to wonder if they made the correct decision.
I do however differ with the attitude that bioparents give aparents a child as
"a gift" and I find the posts complaining that aparents don't express enough gratitude disconcerting. For an aparent to be expected to say
"Thank you for having a child that you were unable to parent" just doesn't make sense to me. I could see a bioparent being grateful that aparents cared for a child that bioparents were unable to care for, for whatever reason. I can also understand an adoptee thanking bioparents for making a responsible choice or for an adoptee to thank aparents for stepping in and filling the need for parents and a home.
Teresa K: I'm not sure if a post was removed or what I missed. Were you stuck with bills from the adoption? Why would you think anyone else should share your bills?
May: "Every time I read or hear something about me giving the aparents a gift, I can't STAND it! " Thank you, as an adoptee, I can't STAND it either. I personally don't feel human beings should be referred to as
"a gift" unless a parent (ANY parent, bio, adoptive or foster) chooses to feel the child is a gift from God. I personally feel there is more of a NEED for aparents as without them, what would bioparents do with a child they CANNOT PARENT? A
"gift" is NOT giving someone else that which you cannot keep ~ IMO.