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Originally Posted By Carol Bird, Birthfamily Support Forum

This is a real puzzle. You don't know the name of the attorney, or the adoptive parents! You don't know where your former girlfriend is, and you are grieving the loss of a child.
Do you have his date of birth, the name of the hospital and city? Have you checked the "on-line national telephone directories for your girlfriend? Do you know any members of her family who might give you her address so you can write to her? I can't help but wonder WHY she kept all of this a secret from you for all those months, and then continued to hedge after the birth. Has it ocurred to you that you might NOT be the child's father, after all?

Nonetheless, since he is still a child, there isn't much you can do right now if your former girlfriend will not give you information. It would be very wise, however, if you sought some professional counseling to help you over the rough times.

Please go to our HOME PAGE and enter the SEARCH ASSISTANCE area for some direction to support groups. You'll also find a
collection of articles "Especially for Men" on our READING ROOM page. Check out our BOOK SHOP for lists of books that may provide some extra support.

You might want to see if there are any legal steps you can take to get information.

I realize this is a difficult time for you and it would be helpful if you could find a BirthFather group. I will check and see what I can come up with.

Hugs,
CAROL