[HappyMomAnna]

Your question is not too long.
My birthchildren are 19 & 20 and both are actually mature for thier ages...... Let me tell you one word of advice----No matter what we tell our adult children it will be deemed wrong by them---no matter hwat happens we will have some reason to be blamed for everything that happens in their lives.

Having said this, it does not mean we do not have the right to add our own two-cents....... and I have found it is more about my delievery then what the content is..... I always start with a statment that, "I am your mother and it is my job to worry about these things....you can take what I say with however much weight you wish---but, I am going to tell you what I think....." and then I say it....once.....and do not argue with them. If they want to argue I just tell them that was not the reason I said what I said, and that I have simply done my job by telling them what My MOTHERING instincts have told me to say.......

We had the problem with a boy wanting to spend the night on our sofa......his excuse was that he was simply too tired to drive home after a date..... We told him he would need to start home sooner in the future if he wanted to contiue to date her. Because after giving in one time it went on and on.......

Our rule is that our children sleep in their own beds....we don't do dates on the sofa and anything beyond our rules will require you to pay rent on your own aparment for you to set your own house rules.