[Shoshana]

that really exemplifies what everyone is saying re the relationship between love as an emotion and love as a behavior...

One well-accepted theory in psychology (specifically from the Behavioral school) describes the cognitive-affective-behavioral triangle. cognitions=thoughts, affect=emotions.

There is a reciprocal and causal relationship between the three components of the triangle. So thoughts can cause/influence behaviors and behaviors can cause/influence emotions, etc.

The interesting point about this theory (in accordance with a Behavioral approach) is that if an intervention needs to be made to change a component of the triangle, then it is easiest to change the behavior. It's very difficult to change an emotion out of sheer will, or through thinking. It's very difficult to change a thought just by wishing it to change. So if you want to change or influence an emotion or a thought, it's most effective to intervene at the level of the behavior.

The problem is that many people aren't willing to invest the effort to change the behavior. Behavior change is far from effortless. It takes consistent and persistent awareness (thought) to change a behavior.

(Cognitive psychologists DO place emphasis on change thoughts directly - but in my opinion, this is even more difficult).