[Sharon]

I agree that there can be love without "liking"; there can be liking without love. But when an adult in a parenting role feels no love AND no liking, and can't even determine why, is it better for a toddler to remain in the care of that person, or could a more ideal situation be found? I would not place my child with a babysitter who admitted she didn't "like" him. I wouldn't allow someone to feed my cats if they didn't "like" them. I try my d*mnedest to make sure that no one who genuinely dislikes my son is ever in a position of authority over him... which can be tough at times, because he's not the most likable kid in the world; he's smart and sarcastic, which rubs many adults (especially teachers) the wrong way. Nevertheless, I did have him transferred to a different class several years ago when I felt that he and his teacher had a genuine and irreconcilable personality conflict. It may have been as much his fault as hers; it doesn't matter. he's the child, she's the adult. She has power, authority, credibility, and the system on her side. My son has... me.
I am there to advocate for him, unconditionally. That's my job. But what about these foster children who do not have moms and dads who care to or who are in a position to advocate for them? Do they deserve LESS because they are foster children??
Moms, think about it, please. If you and your husband died tomorrow, would you prefer that your children be raised by someone who loves (or at least LIKES) them, or would you just as soon they be raised by someone who admittedly DOESN'T like them, but is attempting to fake it in hopes that feelings of affection may someday develop? I'm not saying it's not NORMAL or okay not to like kids... however, there are plenty of people who DO like them, and they are the ones who should be entrusted with their care. It's hard for me to believe that a person could detach from their feelings to such a degree that they would be capable of effectively advocating and acting in the best interest of someone they do not like, or of convincingly "faking it" for any extended period of time. Children deserve love. it is their birthright. They don't deserve love from EVERYONE, nor is that possible. They deserve love from SOMEONE, either their parents or someone else who is willing to step in and fill that role. When you keep a child you are not capable of caring about, you are preventing that child from having what he/ she deserves and needs most; a family.
JMO ~ Shar