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I agree
We adopted a sib group of 2, then ages 3 and 4 and had a 2 year old bio son. There were days (whole weeks at times) after the adoption in that first year where the sight of my new sons literally made my skin crawl -- I had NOTHING left to give them but I did -- BECAUSE THEY WERE MY SONS. The best advice I had ever been given by our social worker is that "You WONT feel the emotion right away --- you might love the IDEA of your child but the reality often sucks!" I knew that could and would eventually feel the feelings so for a while, even quite a while at times, I went through the motions. I hugged, I kissed, I comforted, I sang and rocked and "faked it" until SURPRISE I felt it too.
Never once did I think I would give up on them ... even if I didnt ever "fall in love" (although I was confindent I would) they were MINE. It was MY responsibility to love them because they needed it and me. I never gave myself the option of an "out" - my commitment from the minute I knew I would be their mom was for life.
somedays it was overwhelming, somedays it was scary, somedays I thought nothing would ever change.
Today it is over 4 years after placement -- I LOVE those boys --- both the verb and the noun!
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Fostering Miss Tiny and Miss Curious - Two Months and 13 months when placed May, 2009
Blogging about reunion with our 14 year old, Not reuniting with our 13 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community. And oh yeah, now I have cancer.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |