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I was so intoxicated after reading your message and placing myself into the shoes of my daughter. I never really looked at the situation that way. I feel so so bad, and started to cry when I continued to read and just thought about how much screaming she has been doing, how much fighting she has been doing with us. Just thinking about how she treats other parents and kids, is so much better than she ever treats us. I couldn't explain it, and it hurt just like you said, for her to tell us about another parent or stuff others were doing for her. My husband and I treat her and love her like noother would. I just never thought it would be this way. I see now into her eyes, especially after being one of nine other kids at last foster home. My daughter was on five different pills, but she is down to one kind..strattera..she is doing alot better since I first tagged this message. She was previously on strattera but for some strange reason her psy doc changed the dosage and she had been out of control. She would stay up till midnight everynight, and longer if we let her. My daughter talked to me the other day, and told me that we lie to her. She told me that I tell her one thing and do another, and then when she ask me about it, i don't remember telling her that! I tell her she can go outside and ride her bike, or she can play outside with friends, or she is doing great and is off of punishment, but when the temper tandrums come, I place her back on punishment, forbide her to go outside for anything, and she thinks i have lied to her, she doesn't understand the consequences of her actions. We talked about her behavior and how we as a team can help one another understand each other without the yelling and screaming or lieing about teachers and children hurting her. She even hides her homework from After school tutorial programs tells us there is no homework. We have started a journal with the teachers who come into contact with our daughter, and so we can be a step ahead of her, and keep her own the right track! Most of her homework should be done there, and if not we finish at home, and check at home, then dinner is served. Two nights ago, she had a terrible tandrum for about three hours before doing her homework, eating and going to bed afterward. It was 11 at night! She just refused to finish her homework and rather scream outloud for awhile and release some tension, then she finished. Last saturday she ran away from home straight to her friends house after we took all her recreational things out of her room..tv,vcr,movies,dolls,all toys..only thing left in the room was her clothes,bed,shoes,nightlight. She said we hated her and she was leaving. I placed her in her room,my husband went to take a shower and she left out the front door, in pj's and houseshoes. She went over to her friends house and told them we were going to kill her, and that we spanked her. They brought her home, and we are so afraid for her. I was so worried, and we talked about that and how much it would hurt us if she was hurt or kidnapped or worse. She understood, and promised to never do that again. I think it was all about attention. I just don't know sometimes. She told me just yesteday, that she really does love me and that she prayed to Jesus, that he would help her stop being so bad, and become a good girl. She also told me that the devil is always looking at her, and making her do bad things. She told me she sees him all the time. My daughter told me,the devil wakes up with here every morning, and goes to school with her and lays down with her everynight! We pray everynight together on our knees. At first she would just say her prayers in bed, but now we knel down together and this seems to help more. She told me that God killed the devil the other night! I really really love this child! She really has so much life in her and she really does wanna do good, she just has so much rolling around inside her head, and I have learned that if I talk really slow and calm with her she feels comfortable to tell you just about everything she is feeling at the time! She does have attachement issues, and will occasionally cry for her sisters and brother, but we help her by calling them and it helps her greatly! Sometimes we are overwhelmed and don't know where to start, but we are taking it one day at a time! I know she will come around, I know she will. My husband ask me the other day if I wanted to still give up on her, I told him, Jesus didn't give up on us. Look at how much we have put him through over the years, and he still loves us! If we give up on her, she won't have anyone, or nobody to care for her unconditionally! I told my husband we are planting seeds in this beautiful bright child and all the watering will one day spring up some beautiful Flower!
Thanks so much for setting me straight and being so personal with me. I love everyone's comments, they help more than you can imagine.
Thanks
Gatey
One day at a time....
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