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Each adoption is different depending on the people involved and their circumstances. In some situations closed adoption are best or what end up happening, in others semi-open are great or what happen as people become more comfortable in what should have been a closed adoption. Some adoptions are open but the level of openness and comfort again depend on the people.
I think in general open adoptions are good for all members of the triad but they are not aways the best idea or not possible. I believe that if the grwn ups can beave in the best interest of the child open adoption works great and is what we should all asspire to but given the foibles and inperfections of people and their relationships it may not work out.
I have two closed adoptions, one fully open one and one semi open one where we send pictures, updates etc but don't recieve any (her choice). In our famiily the open adoption has been the most rewarding experience and that child has feweradotion related issues than the older two in closed adoptions. I am not saying my older kids are upset on a daily basis aboutt he closed nature of their adoptions but it does effect them in a number of ways and I don't see any of that in our third child. HE doens't fantsize about his birth family the way my dd did, he dosen't wish he knew who he looks like like my older ds did. He doesn't talk sadly about the famly he doesn't know the way the older kids have. It's not an every day thing but it was definately there for them in a way it is not for #3.
My advice is to be as open as possible and see where the relationship goes. The best thing that can happen is that your willingness to discuss the perameters of your relationship will lead to the perfect level of openness.
lisa
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