[nancynic]

Hi ~

Here are some tips ~

Let kids know you want to understand their perspective and are willing to listen.

Be accessible - kids usually want to talk when it's their idea.

Allow for privacy - don't ask a lot of questions - they will talk to you because they trust you.

Don't take things personally - when they are critical or make generalizations, remember that they have moods and don't always say what is in their hearts.

Answer questions honestly - about sex, drinking and drugs, whatever is on their mind. Don't tell them more than they have asked.

Share yourself, your memories, mistakes and dreams.

Have family meetings to discuss household issues, vacations and having fun together.

Model intimacy - show your affection for them.

Be positive with your feedback.

With each privilege make sure there is a responsibility - let them know a family is a team with each member important and helping out.

Teach decision making and negotiation skills.

Take time to have fun together.

Teach responsibility by having kids earn what they want.

We'd love to hear some examples of how you put these principles into practice, or your tips for parenting pre teens!

Nancy